5 Steps Towards Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence not only allows you to manage your own emotions but it can also help when you have to deal with others’ emotions too. For instance, if you’re a parent, it will help you to better understand your child’s emotions and give your child the tools to cope. 

Emotional intelligence isn’t just about your general well-being. Those who are emotionally intelligent are often more successful in life because they’re able to make good and balanced decisions. If you’d like to raise your emotional intelligence, here are some things you can do.

Be Self-Aware

a person holding a piece of paper with a face cut out of it

It can take a long time to become self-aware. Some people go through decades before they truly understand themselves and how they operate. You must recognise your emotions but you must also understand how your words and actions make others feel.

Being self-aware often means understanding your past or trauma that could have contributed to the person you are today. It can help to have some sessions with a clinical psychologist to talk about yourself and your feelings.

Emotional Regulation

Regulation is an important step in developing emotional intelligence. This doesn’t mean ignoring how you feel or attempting to push your feelings away. Regulation requires an enormous amount of patience but it is achievable.


The whole point of self-regulation is recognising when it’s the right time to express what you’re feeling and expressing it in the right way. This is a form of preventative care that can help you to avoid making mistakes. Good communication is a key to all healthy relationships.

Understanding Others

a person lying down with hands behind his head

A huge part of emotional intelligence is understanding others and their emotions. To do this, you’ll need to develop your social skills. Learning about others and the things that have happened in their lives can give you a new perspective.

When you’re around others, be sure to actively listen to what they’re saying. Many people listen to form a reply. However, the best thing you can do is listen with the purpose of understanding. Most people don’t require a reply or a solution unless they specifically ask for it.


Without developing your social skills, empathy can be difficult. It’s hard to understand others’ feelings without empathy. Empathy allows you to recognise emotional responses and the proper reactions to them. When you have empathy you’ll be able to identify how people are feeling and offer an understanding ear.

To cultivate empathy, you have to be willing to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Imagine how they’re feeling due to the situation they’re in. Imagine how it would make you feel.

Intrinsic Motivation

a finger pointing at a brain

Have you ever given someone something out of the kindness of your heart with no expectation of reward? That sort of inner satisfaction is the motivation used by the emotionally intelligent. Emotionally intelligent people don’t often seek fame and fortune.

These people are highly motivated doers who tend to be high achievers too. When they see something they need, they get up and make it happen. 

Are you emotionally intelligent? If you’ve enjoyed reading this article, take a look at the others.


Simone Ribeiro
Hi! I'm Simone, a citizen of Britain, where I live for over a decade, and of Brazil, where I was born. Midlands Traveller is where I combine my passion for travelling, business and an Eco-friendly lifestyle.

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